Critical Role (The Mighty Nein) Test Their Basic Culinary Skills

[Narrator] The cast of The Mighty Nein

will be competing in challenges,

testing basic culinary skills. Oh [beep]!

One-by-one, Go, go!

[Narrator] they will be eliminated,

but who will be the last one standing?

[lively upbeat music]

All right, here it is. I know.

[soft upbeat music]

[Narrator] Apple.

You are a master peeler.

Ooh! With the tools you have,

peel the longest continuous piece of apple skin.

The bleeding starts

right away. Who can get the longest?

Okay. The longest

continuous piece. Okay, okay.

[Narrator] When time is up,

you will measure the length [chime pinging]

at which your peel hangs. [buzzer buzzing]

The shortest peels are eliminated.

Ready?

Oh boy. Peels are my thing.

Oh boy! Question.

There were two tools there.

Do we have to use either tool,

or we can use- You don't know!

Shut up, Ashley! Okay, okay!

I wanna know! [group laughing]

Question, is there a time limit?

[Producer] One minute.

One minute. Oh wow!

One minute? So are these tools sharp?

Is there a first aid kit on hand?

I am gonna throw up.

[dramatic music]

Oh sh! [bell dings]

Let's go. Oh!

Okay. Okay. Ooh!

Okay, okay. Mm. This is...

Oh shit! I already [beep] it up!

Look at it! You already [beep] it up?

You can keep on. Try again. Oh wait.

[Travis groans]

[Liam] Ope! Okay. Okay.

[Marisha] Travis is going to rock at this.

[Sam breathing heavily]

Nope. I'm biffing it.

I'm shaking. This is real bad.

I'm [beep] shaking. Shake it off.

[Sam breathing heavily]

[yelps] Oh my God. I'm gonna kill my self!

Wait, was it Ah! Dammit.

Sleepless in Seattle?

Lord, it is! Aah!

Meg Ryan and he knows... I hate y'all.

You know, on the weekend I'm a mohel.

He falls... [group laughs]

[Producer] Three seconds.

What? 30 or three?

30.

Okay. [Sam laughing]

Why would he say three?

I don't know! [group laughs]

Oh God! I don't think I mean...

I can get a long piece anymore.

I've ruined everything! I don't have anymore!

Oh God. This is bad. More.

[dramatic music]

[Marisha] [beep]! You guys [beep] it up.

I give up. [bell dinging]

[Marisha] Jesus.

I think I [beep] crushed it, you guys.

Wow. Hate it.

Woo! Oh God!

I don't wanna break it. Let's not get it.

Just please compromise. Wow!

[Laura] Woo!

That's a tapeworm. I don't think

the tape measure Yeah.

goes that far. I don't...

That the first time you've said that?

[voices overlapping]

[yells] Ah! It broke!

No! No, no, no, no! [group clamoring]

No, no! Count it!

No. Count it!

Yeah, count it! It's done.

[group laughing]

It was longer before!

[group giggling]

[Marisha] Let's go, Matt!

It's a perfectly average size.

Aww. [group laughs]

Gets the job done.

Marisha!

Wow. Jesus!

Oh my God! 15 inches.

[voices overlapping]

Okay. Still in the game.

Still in the game. [group laughing]

Yikes.

If I lift it it's gonna break.

But it, does it have- Does it have to lift?

Yes. Oh this is so good.

I wasn't told that in

advance. You have to lift it!

Get away from me Laura. Shake it! Shake it!

[Liam] Shut the [beep] up.

Shake it! Get away from me.

Hey! [group exclaiming]

Hey! [group laughing]

Kick her out right now! Right now!

Disqualified!

Out! Out! [group laughing]

Why are we always so in character?

[group laughing]

[Producer] Seven and three-quarter inches.

[crew member mutters]

She Tonya Hardinged me.

[Sam laughs]

[Producer] Five inches.

[Laura fake sobs] [Sam sighs and laughs]

[Producer] Three-and-a-quarter inches.

Hey! Hey!

Ashley!

Wow. Yeah, nice.

Very good, Ash. Whoa.

Hey! Hey!

Okay, okay! Yeah, you and me, baby.

You and me. Uh...

Alright. Me?

Congratulations. [group laughing]

Hey!

There can't be a number one without a number two,

okay? That's true. That's true.

That's what my doctor tells me.

[Narrator] Taliesin and Laura are eliminated.

[group exclaiming]

[suspenseful music]

I wish I had peeled better.

[group laughs]

I should have gone for the knife.

[Laura] I went for the knife and I sucked,

Yeah. and you went for the peeler,

and you sucked. Yeah.

No, we should have switched.

We should have just not sucked.

Yeah or just peeled a tangerine or something.

Yeah. Something else. Nah.

Remove your aprons! Aww!

Oh! Take it off.

In the immortal words of Matt Damon,

Boo. how do you like them apples?

Boo. [Marisha laughs]

[dramatic music]

Wine. Oh, wine.

[Narrator] Wine.

You are an ounce oracle.

Pour exactly four ounces into the empty glass.

Oh Jesus. Oh! What?

Yeah. Get outta here.

[Narrator] The two are furthest from the line

are eliminated.

Going over

Oh! gets you eliminated.

Ready?

Going over gets you eliminated.

Wait! Going over.

If you feel like you've over poured,

are you allowed to pour out? You can. Yes.

Okay, another follow-up question.

Yeah, knew it. Are we talking

like a California... I knew it!

[group laughs]

Like a cabernet?

[gong crashes]

[Taliesin] Oh my God.

I can't wait for y'all to see this.

Turns out being eliminated was the best.

Okay. Wine skins.

Oh! What?

Okay! [Sam chuckling]

A wine skin.

Okay. Wow. Oh my gosh.

What if we fail 'cause we don't know how to open this?

[Matt laughs]

[dramatic music]

[group chattering and laughing]

Wait, how long do we have?

Ooh! A minute.

Okay. Oh.

Ooh-ooh-ooh. Let it aerate.

Let it aerate.

Weak stream.

There's, you know, there's meds for this.

Yeah, there's a theme today, isn't there?

Get a little shake. How much does this cup hold?

The sound I cannot handle. Ugh.

[Ashley] Yeah, are we allowed to know

how many cups this holds?

[Liam] Remember to shake it before you put it away.

Mm. Oh goodness.

Oh! Oh wow. Shit! Stop! Stop!

[Taliesin] You want to get the chunky stuff

Four ounces. at the bottom or otherwise

you can't taste the wine. I feel like

this is four ounces.

[Taliesin] Can you taste the number of ounces?

Yep. I think I'm gonna hold.

I'm gonna do a little more. I'm gonna do a little more.

Don't you dare! [Matt laughing]

[Ashley] I don't wanna go over!

I'm so nervous. Yeah.

I'm not, I'm gonna stay. I think...

[Sam] I'm going less. [bell dinging]

Sam. I'm going less.

All right. [group chattering]

Oh my God, I'm so nervous! [Matt smacks lips]

[Matt retches]

[group exclaims]

Oh, you pour! Presenting.

Oh, there's a marker. There's the line.

There's the numbers. Okay.

That's 2.5 ounces. [Laura gasps]

Oh shit! Oh!

[beep] ! Balls!

That is

3.5.

Whoa! [group exclaiming]

Okay.

That's actually a small pour for Marisha.

Yeah. [laughs] That's true.

[group laughs]

Oh my God. I'm shaking.

[group laughing]

The stakes couldn't be higher.

That's true. [group laughs]

[Sam] Oh! Oh!

Oh. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

4.5.

[group exclaiming]

4.5!

[buzzer buzzes]

You're around three. Oh.

[dramatic music]

Two-point-two-five.

Oh. C'mon.

[Ashley clapping] Great.

The saddest little clap.

[group laughs]

[Liam yodeling]

Oh. That says three ounces

on the money.

Oh! Nice!

Ah! Nice.

You did very well. Whatever you do,

don't spill it on the table.

[Ashley] Three-point-one-five.

I like it. I like 3.15. Yeah.

[Narrator] Travis and Marisha

are eliminated. [group exclaiming]

You know, I think...

I think I got a little overly ambitious.

Obviously, we've still got some things to work on,

but... Yeah, you know,

it's better to be overdressed than underdressed.

It's better to be overcooked than undercooked.

And it's better to have over poured than under poured.

Ah. That's why we're

sticking by it Suck it, lizards.

Alright, go away from the stage.

[Liam] Terrible.

[group chuckling]

Take that L.

[lounge music]

Mm. Milk. Milk.

[Narrator] Milk.

You are a cereal connoisseur.

Yep. Yep. Blindfolded,

you must sip milk,

and guess which cereal Oh, this is a good one.

[Narrator] that shared a bowl with?

Shout the correct answer for a point.

Five milks to taste.

That's awesome!

[Narrator] The two with the lowest point total

are eliminated.

Ready?

I would've been perfect for this.

I'm such a cereal [beep]. The first one?

I need to cleanse my palate!

Where's the water?

Where's the water? Right here, right here.

[Narrator] The first cereal is Fruit Loops.

Who do you feel like is gonna be the winner?

You have so- Hold!

Pinot grigio.

[suspenseful music]

Oh! Oh, that's familiar.

What is it? Honeycomb!

[buzzer buzzes]

[Laura giggling]

No. No, Trix.

Trix! [beep]!

It was just coming out of my mouth!

Wait, wait. Hold on.

Corn Pops?

What is this? Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Fruity Pebbles!

[buzzer buzzes]

[Producer] Zero points that round.

[Narrator] The second is Apple Jacks.

[group chuckles]

I hope you choke on it. Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

[group groaning]

[Travis] Bruh. [buzzer buzzes]

I'm wrong? Put your blindfold back on!

Sorry! Cinnamon.

Cinnamon Aritos! Cinnamon Life?

It's cinnamon something. Cinnamon Life?

Cinnamon Toast Crunch? No?

French Toast Crunch!

[beep] [crew laughs]

That's all the cinnamon cereals I know.

[buzzer buzzes] [group exclaiming]

Apple Jacks. It was Apple Jacks. [beep]!

If they suck it up,

does one of us get to come back?

You can also just sip it,

for those of you that are

It's like, no. pounding it

[Marisha giggling] like it's Mardi Gras.

Where else would I be? What?

[group laughing]

[Narrator] The third cereal is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[Travis and Laura snickering]

Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

[bell chimes] [group laughs and cheers]

Hey! Ash, started us up. [group laughing]

Deep, deep, deep. [group giggling]

[Narrator] The fourth cereal is Frosted Flakes.

[dramatic music]

Cocoa Pebbles!

Cocoa Puffs!

Cocoa Krispies!

[buzzer buzzes]

Honey Nut Cheerios.

Count Chocula?

Lucky Charms.

Cookie Crisp. Hm. Oh man.

Frosted Flakes!

Oh. [bell chimes]

Oh my God! Oh, Ashley!

Ashley again! Ashley! What a good job!

Oh. You went gold!

I've never been more invested in something in my life.

[Sam] I gotta cleanse my palate!

[group giggling]

[Narrator] The fifth is Cocoa Pebbles.

[dramatic music]

Captain Crunch, Cocoa Pebbles, Honey Nut Cheerios.

[bell chimes]

Why? Cocoa Pebbles.

You just guessed random [beep]!

[electronic chiming]

Sam. [Sam laughs]

[Narrator] Matt and Sam are eliminated.

I will leave the game in protest

because Liam cheated

[Sam and Matt giggling]

and so any victory of his is puric at best.

He does not deserve to go on,

Sore loser! and I will... [laughs]

I agree, but Ashley absolutely deserves this.

If there's anybody Yes.

that should have taken that last challenge,

it's Ashley Johnson. Yes, and I hope

she wins the whole thing.

I hope so, too.

[Travis] Good job, losers.

[Sam grunts]

[Matt] That's right. [group laughing]

That's right. Alright.

[soft upbeat music]

[Narrator] Canape.

You are a snack sorcerer. Oh, canape. Okay.

[Narrator] Use your food inventory

Ooh! to craft the tastiest

one-bite snack possible. Oh, okay!

[Narrator] The snack dubbed Most Delicious

will be decided by the six eliminated.

[Group] Oh. You have five minutes.

Winner is dubbed the Culinary Battle Champion.

Ready?

I love this. Yeah!

Amazing. Ooh!

[Sam] I can't wait.

Alright. I'm excited to judge.

What? Might go with caviar.

There's so many routes we can take this!

I don't know why I'm screaming.

How upset are you gonna be if you pick Liam's?

Very upset.

I want him to go down. Down in flames.

[timer clicking] [dramatic music]

Okay.

Do you know what you're doing?

Oh, you're going crackers. No, I don't know.

Interesting, interesting, I don't know, I don't know

interesting. what I'm doing.

[Ashley] Okay, you're going cheese.

Always go cheese. I'm nervous!

I'm going out on a limb here

and I'm gonna do salmon and cream cheese.

Do you do a lot of cooking at home?

I do not.

Never.

Dude. That's not true.

But I feel like what I cook is basic.

Liam cooks for his family,

He does. but its healthy.

Yeah. Yeah.

And Ashley orders really well.

Yeah. You know what I'm good at?

Tell me. Postmates.

Me too!

Oh, we do have a little dill!

Okay, great.

I also think Ashley creates a very colorful palette.

Maybe her cracker will be very colorful.

Oh. Do looks go into this?

I feel like they do. I think that it does.

They do. Presentation.

[speaking French] Yeah. .

I might have gone wrong

with choosing the little pancake instead of the cracker.

Some prosciutto and cream cheese,

and a little bit of honey.

Liam's whole meals are so generally bland,

this is- Like his personality.

Right. No, this, how do I put it?

It's very Whole Foods core.

Yeah. I'm going for savory,

but with just a little surprise

of sweet to it with the honey.

I'm also gonna add a little dill.

Maybe people don't like dill. I love dill.

Yeah. Ashley's gonna go hard.

And she's gonna get halfway through

and then she's gonna panic in the last 30 seconds

and then put the rest of it on.

Ding, ding, ding. Yeah.

She's not great with decisions.

Yes, that's true. [group laughing]

Oh my God.

I don't know why I'm adding chives here.

I still perpetually have loser mentality,

so I'm ready to lose.

Liam is incredibly competitive.

Very much. Yeah.

Did you notice how angry he got when I tapped his hand?

It would've fallen anyway.

[group laughing]

I mean, these are solid ingredients to put together.

You can't really go wrong.

I don't care who wins but I do care who loses.

I instructed Ashley to cheat

and to carve a little A into the base of her cracker.

Oh, so we know?

But I don't know if she'll That's a good idea actually.

play ball.

I might have done something a little weird

with adding the chives.

Let's make this mess.

Okay. Okay.

[bell dinging]

May the best chef win.

[tense music]

Hi, friends. Ah.

Hi. These are beautiful!

These are so good, guys! Very good!

What's this little? So cute!

[Marisha] Oh, I see a smoked fish.

Guys, Critical Role cooking show when?

[voices overlapping]

[Marisha] Okay, the teeny one?

The teeny one. Okay.

Alright, we got some tomato.

Tomato, Brie. Some Brie.

It looks like Brie. It looks like

a tiny bit of prosciutto. Tiny bit of chives.

[Marisha] Oh, it's like a prosciutto.

And a little bit of dill.

Dill. Dill?

Okay, ready? Cheers.

[Laura] Cheers!

[canapes crunching]

Mmm!

That's disgusting.

I was expecting something a little tangy,

You know? but it's pretty sweet.

There's honey but there's also chives,

Oh, the chives are really-

which is a interesting combo.

[chuckles] It is a journey.

The Brie with the sweet is always nice.

I feel like the chives are overpowering a little bit.

I don't get any of the prosciutto that's in there.

I don't either. No.

I got texture at best. It was a very small amount.

It was a very small amount.

It was a little...

The flavor was over quick.

Yeah, the flavor was

It's a canape. predominantly

Hard to swallow. Brie with chive.

Would you go back for a second one

if the plate came around again?

No. No.

Yes. Oh.

[group laughs] Wowzers!

100% no.

Y'all are brutal!

Yeah.

I would eat like 10 of those.

[group laughing]

[Laura] Lemme start with the-

Oh! It's soft. It's soft!

Oh, it's a pita. Oh, it's a two-parter.

Some salt? What am I doing here?

[canapes crunching]

Mmm! Uh-uh.

It's so big. [Travis mumbling]

It's okay.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Smoked salmon.

Mm-hmm. Softer.

Taste like a bagel a lot. Creme fraiche?

Is there some creme fraiche in there?

Yeah, definitely stronger. The flavor's stronger.

I wouldn't say it's- No it's not.

Hmm? Lies.

[Sam laughing]

Stronger flavor? Uh-uh.

Oh no. Have a pickle.

Have a pickle. [Sam laughing]

Your taste is wrong.

I enjoyed that less.

The pancake kind of [beep] it up.

Yeah. I think it was

Everything was great. the pan, the poncockle,

messed it up. Mm-hmm.

[Sam] You have something in your hair.

Oh. [Marisha gasps]

Evidence.

[Marisha] Is it? [group laughing]

It's dill.

[group laughs]

Who had the dill?

[Matt] There's also dill and Liam's hair.

[Laura] Oh. [group laughing]

Oh, wait, so one of 'em made the front row

and the other one made the back?

Yes!

Okay. Who's gonna start?

I liked the first one better,

but I think Liam made it

so I'm gonna vote for number two.

[group laughing]

It's gonna be unanimous.

I also prefer the first one, Discuss.

Mm. But

Yeah. Liam made it.

I don't know.

[laughs] He sure did. I don't know!

I also vote for the second one

because our salmon was arranged in the shape of an A,

which I think was a letter. It could have been an L.

I'll argue the first one had

a more intricate flavor profile,

but the second one,

I actually enjoyed the flavor more

so I leaned towards the second.

Also because Liam made the first one.

I, sure...

I wish I had had the cracker of the first

on the flavor of this one. [Sam and Marisha laugh]

I want to crunch.

I prefer the first one,

the crunch and the size of the bite.

It was a bit large

It was. Yeah. in the second bite.

It was tasty but it did... [gags]

Also- I feel like,

I feel like... [group laughing]

Travis, what was your vote? We need a winner.

Row two 'cause [beep] Liam.

[group laughing] So...

Liam. What if?

What if row one is Ashley, though?

It's not. You don't know.

It's not. It's not. It's one.

I vote one.

I vote one.

Wait, so we got It's close.

three ones and three twos?

Throw on three.

Okay. Alright. On three?

Okay. Yep. Go.

[Matt & Laura] Just wait. One, two...

[Laura] So you win.

[Sam laughs]

Two. So two is the winner?

Two is the winner.

Aww!

Which one was which? I was number two.

[group cheering and laughing]

Doesn't feel like a good win.

[group laughing]

[Narrator] Liam is eliminated.

My plan since the moment the wine came out

was just to be a wine mom,

and I stuck to that plan,

and I consider this a win. [group giggling]

Okay. Where's the bottle?

[Marisha] [group chuckling] Yeah.

[group laughs]

What? Oh!

[group exclaiming]

I do zah!

[group giggling]

This feels a little bittersweet.

It feels kind of a little like a dirty win.

Hearing your critiques in real time about your food is...

Mm, I don't know if I'd recommend it.

[group chuckling]

But I'm really glad I won!

[group laughs and cheers]

[lively upbeat music]